search engine results, stupid quotes and a burning car

I was google-image-searching drugs and found so much inspiring shit.

There were these banal “tests” for addiction that went something like this…
Are you addicted to your drug? A questionnaire test:

Do you ever say “that’s better” after taking ‘your drug’?
Do you ever say “ah, fuck, I’m sober again!”?
Have you ever walked for more than 12 hours to get your drug?
Have you ever devised a plan of more than 20 steps to obtain your drug?
Have you ever committed more than 5 consecutive crimes to get your drug?
Have you ever beat a stranger for more than 7 consecutive hours for withholding your drug?

Surely, if you’ve ever defined “you drug”, you’d be thinking about addiction already.

Actually, in a recent telephone assessment for the provision of an ‘out-worker’ or outreach worker or something, the person on the other end (I don’t remember names on the phone) asked me which of the drugs I consumed on a regular basis was “my drug”. I hadn’t ever felt the need to define which drug is “my drug” – just which I want… in me… now – so I was taken aback and asked “what, like, if I had unlimited money and time and freedom and…” and fell into a brief daydream before answering the question.

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Oh man… that’s classic. I found out that one of the few ’search engine terms’ that has lead people to this site has been the words “what is nice about being fat”. Awesome. I hope noone blames me.

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emo phillips

“one afternoon when i’m walking home from school and I’m watching some man building a new house. and the guy hammering on the roof calls me a paranoid little weirdo in morse code.”

“I used to think the human brain was the most fascinating part of the human body. then i realise, well, look what’s telling me that.”

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I was around abbotsford/collingwood the other day, for the obvious reasons, and was heading to Victoria Park station, via the 24hour safeway petrol thingamie for munchies, and had a little double-take moment when I noticed a flaming sports car casually smoking on the side of a perfectly calm street. If I were a real blogger i would have got out my non-existent camera-phone and taken some shitty photos, but you’ll just have to take my word for it. There was billowing smoke and small explosions and exciting things like that, but no crying owner, no sirens, no authorities, just a bunch of inwardly grinning abbotsfordians. I heard someone on a phone talking to the police, saying things like “what do you mean, ‘is it holding up traffic?’? it’s covering the road in a thick smoke and threatening to explode!” When the tow truck and fire team came half an hour later everyone sighed and rolled their eyes at the person who called the cops and went back to the train station. I guess someone just felt the urge to set that particular car on fire. Just when I was losing faith in the abbotsford/collingwood crew.