Back in the Game, Mean Revolutions and more Dr. Katz

I’m still living at my papa’s. With the free rent and food and internet and occasionally money if it’s left lying around. I am trying to move out again, though. Really. With all the enthusiasm I’m capable of.

Dad and Karen are on holidays now. They left last week, and I’m guessing they’re hoping I won’t be here when they get back. They kindly left me some food in the fridge which I ate all of several days before my payday. I also have no tobacco to scab. I stumbled out of bed yesterday to look for food but found nothing but cereal (and no milk). I decided to check ‘kitty’ on the off chance dad left some cash. There was fifty bucks there! So I promptly went out and bought fifty dollars worth of drugs and came home, opened the fridge and went “oh yeah! that’s right… fuck”. So I grabbed my 85 cents and left the house.

I asked several strangers for cigarettes with less than 20% success rate until I started offering money. Nobody accepts your shrapnel, scoffing at how poor that implies they are, but the success rate is almost 100%! Next I stole two mars bars, a kitkat, two potatoes, pasta and 500g of beef from the supermarket. It’s good to have my independence back.

*

The other day someone I know was trying to convince me to vote. At one point they said “I can give you thousands of reasons to do with you being white and male.”
Sure… bet they’re the most fucked up reasons imaginable.
Reasons… I should vote? I mean, we all feel white males are dangerously underrepresented.

*

I was once told that revolution is not morally permissible because it is wrong to take something from people that have become used to owning that thing.
I agree, I mean, with that whole abolishing slave-labour thing those poor slave-owners were really fucked over. People should have waited until they saw the errors of their ways and gave up their slaves willingly.
(The response was ‘no no no, that’s different’, though I could not ascertain ‘why?’.)
It’s that whole moral relativity thing. The ‘what is right depends on your culture, so be all culturally respectful and nice and stuff’ thing that also applies to ‘what is culturally permissible now is right’ that seems to exclude any chance for social change and critique and justifies almost every institutionalised exploitation and injustice.

*

Moralising makes me cry. I hope this fact keeps you up at night!
For every act of moralisation you make, a black baby loses its innocence.

 

*

Mitch Fatel: I’m a great boyfriend, i would do everything for her. coz I’m whipped!
Dr. Katz: uh huh
MF: i never complain when i get sent out on errands. that’s how you know you’re a boyfriend, Dr. Katz, when all you’ll do is just get sent out to get stuff…
K: well…
MF: and you look forward to it, coz you get to see other guys at the store, you know
K: mhmm
MF: I’m walkin’ around and i’m like, ‘hey stan! what are you sent out for? lemme see your note… oh! i need pads too, let’s walk together.’ and when you get sent out to get something, you’d better get exactly what you were sent out for, or you get sent right the hell back! to stand on the line with the other reject boyfriends. and they don’t want to talk to you, you know. like the guy in front of me he’s like ‘what are you here for?’, and I’m like ‘*sigh* *groan* um, i bought a spanish onion and i needed a yellow onion.’ and he’s like ‘what’s the difference?’ and I’m like ‘*sigh* that is not for us to ask! i’m not even supposed to be talking to you!’

Mitch Fatel: some guys have sex with a plastic doll, is there a name for that Dr. Katz?
Dr. Katz: no, not yet.
MF: i would never have sex with a plastic doll! i’d feel so stupid, you know. all my friends’d be like ‘I’m really stupid, I locked my keys in the car.’ and i’d be like ‘thaaat’s nothing, last night i had sex with a balloon!’
K: yeah

Mitch Fatel: i don’t want to just be famous doc, i want to be rich! i want to be like super-rich, you know so like where i could buy anything i want. like if i’m walkin’ down the street and i see a dog i like, i can be like ‘I wanna buy your dog!’, and the guy’ll be like ‘my dog’s not for sale!’, and i’d be like, i’d take out like a hundred thousand dollars, and be like ‘I think I’ll call him harry,’
Dr Katz: right
MF: and he’ll be like ‘go to your new master harry.’

Mitch Fatel on Dr Katz.

*

Louis: anyway, so actually the truth is I was in jail because I was speeding, and um… igot pulled over, and i don’t have a driver’s licence.
Dr Katz: Oh Louis!
L: I never got one.
K: Yeah…
L: well i went to the place, to get… you know… and there was a like line… and you know
K: you need… you need a driver’s license!
L: i kind of like the fact that every time i get pulled over, even if its for a broken headline, they have to take me jail. So i don’t have to kiss the guy’s arse, i have to… get you say anything i want, really. because…I mean, what’s he going to do, take me to extra jail?
K: right…
L: you know, the guys like “d’you know how fast you were going?” “I dunno, like a million!? I dont.. like… Hey! ya fat pig!”
K: mm…

And then the shitty recording on dailymotion stuffs up.